Light.

Why did you make me the way I am?
I worry way to much about others and my spirit and confidence are quite easy to crush.
Is it so I can worry every minute of the day about how others see me?
So I can bury myself underneath my insecurities, feeling as small as a grain of sand.

And why do I have to love so passionately, feeling as if I am the only one giving all that I can.
Is it just a setup for disappointment and over reactions on my behalf?
Sometimes I wish that I didn't need anybody, sometimes not even you oh Lord.
I wish that at times I could be string-less like a bird soaring through the skies.
But you have made the birds as well, so I have no ownership of myself. Still I am a slave to you.

Why oh Lord did you make me the way I am?
Over sensitive, stubborn, careful, insecure and scared?
So I can put myself last and others first.  To care for them, sympathize with them, at this point I don't know.
Is it so I can try to endure myself torture? This isn't quite making any sense.
Want to shed some light on the matter?
Since you are by the way, the light in complete darkness.

How come I find myself returning to you once again?
After all, I have said I still need you....why?
Is it because I am to weak to stand alone.

It still doesn't change the frustration I have as to understanding who I am
And why you've made me the way I am.
I rather not think about it but yet again I can't stop.  Its who I am.
Who you have made me perhaps.
And I will always return to you oh Lord.