Love Is Temporary

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Captain Corelli's Mandolin6. "Love is the beauty of the soul."

--St. Augustine

That Time of Year Once Again

Its that time of year when we are reminded to be with our loves ones and cherish the time we have with them.
Its that time of year where some individuals put down their pride and are willing to carefully let go of  their grudges to become closer to their love ones.
What makes this time of year so different? ......The lights, The Christmas tree?  The shopping deals?
Or can it be the corny Christmas music which they begin to play way to early! (before Thanksgiving) which drives us insane..... . maybe not.
To myself personally it is that time of year when we are all reminded one way or another whether we want to or not of the most wonderful gift man kind has received.  The birth of our savior Jesus Christ.  Some of you who might be reading this ( which I think is awesome :D ) may agree or not, which is completely okay.

After a hectic schedule of exams, projects, concerts and trying to fit in a life somewhere in there, this time of year is a spiritual revival for the spiritually drained.  It may not be the case for all but for some including me it is.  I get to relax for a few weeks and spend time with my family which I have to admit can sometimes drive me crazy and up a wall.  I have time to change my diet from my the usual cereal, ham sandwhiches and roman noodles to some yummy homemade food and get some much needed sleep.

I finally have time where I can meditate on all the blessing Lord has given me and all that he is continuing to do for me, my family and honeybunn ♥
I am so grateful for this time that I have to truly appreciate what is important.  With such a such busy schedule I can easily forget to sit down and just spend sometime with my heavenly Father who has done so much more for me than I can even begin imagine.  This time of year not only am I being fed some good delicious Dominican food but SOMEINCREDIBLEOUTOFTHISWORLDFANTASTIC  spiritual food.

So what does this time of year mean to you?
What does it stand for?
It would be delightful to hear your thoughts. I would love to do a reflection in a later blog post.

Have a great Holidays/ New Years!!

p.s. Please leave me some comments, you can email me at pamela.r.cuevas@hotmail.com (it can be anonymous) or shoot me a facebook message---> Pami Cuevas

Madly (Revised)

Madly in love I have fallen for a man,
Who's sweet tender touch calms me in my despair.
He is my earthly rock, just a small fraction of our creator.
Who strengths me through all of my days.

Every large and small flaw which creates me
He seems to accept and adore.
When I am moody he is patient.
When I am insecure he is reassuring.
When I am being difficult he is simply himself.
When I am at a lost for words, he kisses me in the still of the night.

The Lord has blessed beyond my wildest expectations.

Light.

Why did you make me the way I am?
I worry way to much about others and my spirit and confidence are quite easy to crush.
Is it so I can worry every minute of the day about how others see me?
So I can bury myself underneath my insecurities, feeling as small as a grain of sand.

And why do I have to love so passionately, feeling as if I am the only one giving all that I can.
Is it just a setup for disappointment and over reactions on my behalf?
Sometimes I wish that I didn't need anybody, sometimes not even you oh Lord.
I wish that at times I could be string-less like a bird soaring through the skies.
But you have made the birds as well, so I have no ownership of myself. Still I am a slave to you.

Why oh Lord did you make me the way I am?
Over sensitive, stubborn, careful, insecure and scared?
So I can put myself last and others first.  To care for them, sympathize with them, at this point I don't know.
Is it so I can try to endure myself torture? This isn't quite making any sense.
Want to shed some light on the matter?
Since you are by the way, the light in complete darkness.

How come I find myself returning to you once again?
After all, I have said I still need you....why?
Is it because I am to weak to stand alone.

It still doesn't change the frustration I have as to understanding who I am
And why you've made me the way I am.
I rather not think about it but yet again I can't stop.  Its who I am.
Who you have made me perhaps.
And I will always return to you oh Lord.

Elevator

Smiles and Gesture open for the heart to take

So what do you do? You follow along hoping to become a part of it

To be accepted, wanted maybe loved.

Together we sit sharing jokes, laughing, bonding,

Wait.....not together.

Because here I am sitting with nothing to say feeling completely alone, alienated,

feeling like a charity case.

Don't you just hate that feeling?

Where you're completely disconnected from your body,

On the outside looking in completely numb.

But you know deep inside you rather be here instead of alone seemingly belonging.

But sometimes it's just too much to bare feeling completely uncomfortable.

Naked in front of a crowed nicely dressed.

So then you get up say goodbye 

And for old time sake's smile trying not to show your disappointment, your pain.

But what else can you do when all you want to is feel like you belong.

Salt and Pepper ♥

"Be with someone who knows what they have, When they have you"---Anonymous

Red Wiry Hair

Red wiry hair that mocks my beauty.

Pale skin that strips me, leaving me naked of my confidence.
Beautiful emerald green eyes that only see judgement.
Build up insecurities which I can no longer bare.
Gestures and comments which I can clearly see through
And still you are present in my life like a ticking clock persisting hour after hour.
Yearning to let go of the memories of you,
But still I maintain to  hold as the thorns cut through my wrist bleeding away my happiness.

Taking chances, putting myself on the line, opening up
To only be laughed at by these four walls who witness my failures.
Like a rock I harden to then be melted by your smile,
To only re-harden becoming more dead than before.
Your wiry red hair shows a reflection of someone who I no longer know.
What has become of me?

The simple act of friendship doesn't even compel you.
What are you afraid of?
Someone as vulnerable and idiotic like me cannot cause any harm.
I've been broken and battered by the rejections of others and the weight of the world.
So what is there to lose?

"Anytime you need someone to talk to, I'm here"
These lines that slipped through your lips curse you as a liar
For a simple "Hello" you won't even answer to

Like a Tree

I stand firm above the mountain tops
My hands and feet reaching towards the sun.
I grow and expand as the seasons change
Having visitors who rest upon me comforting me with their sweet melody.


Then in the change of the wind they leave never returning
As I try to adjust to the light heavy feeling of being alone.
I try to stand firm above the the mountain tops with my hands and feet reaching towards the sun trying to understand what when wrong.


But in the mist of my turmoil a wild storm is seen in the horizon
Growing, expanding, threatening my existence.
As it draws near I stand firm with my hands and feet reaching towards the sun
But he is no longer there.
A grey wall of clouds blocks me from His presence and warmth.


My hands and feet begin to sway, bend and twist.
All that I held on to begins to fall rapidly disappearing from my sight.
I'm bending backwards looking towards the sun
I'm beginning to break, I have been stripped naked, raw, bare.


The winds begin to cease and the wall begins to break.
His warmth touches my raw, dried, stripped trunk.
I begin to stand firm in awe of what I've survived.
My hands begin to bloom, peace and joy enter my roots.


Once again I stand firm above the mountain tops
With my hands and feet reaching towards the sun deeply rooted in his grace.